Poker is Like a Box of Chocolates

Well...sometimes it is. And other times, you know exactly what you're going to get. That was the case last night when I was railing Riggstad and generally yucking it up with him on IM. If you watch long enough, it's not a matter of if he berates someone, but when. Everything was going along smoothly and he was, as usual, playing exceptionally well (and giving me pearls of wisdom as a bonus). But there is a point to this lead-up, so I offer the following screen capture:

Now what is important to understand here is the preflop action. Mr. QJ off limped UTG, clearly intent on trapping with his monster. It folds to Riggs. At this point I send a message suggesting he shove, which he does for over 3K total when blinds were something like 50-100. Now I am certain that my suggestion had zero influence here. However I think Riggs held the same belief that I did; which was that the limper would call. It folded to BB who took his time, but eventually dumped too. Mr QJ off thought for a couple seconds, made the call and...well...you see what happened. Through the fits of laughter that ensued on my end, I was able to catch snippets of the subsequent conversation. For your reading pleasure, I have boiled it down and post it here (with some commentary of my own in italics). Enjoy.

Dealer: riggstad shows [Ad Ac]
Dealer: untouchableme shows [Qd Js]
riggstad: un real
Dealer: riggstad shows a pair of Aces
Dealer: untouchableme shows two pair, Queens and Jacks
Dealer: untouchableme wins the pot (6,280) with two pair,
Queens and Jacks

(Fireworks in 3.....2....1.....)

riggstad: you donpe
riggstad (Observer): QJ is the nuts
riggstad (Observer): I knew youd call too idiot
riggstad (Observer): limp call a shove
riggstad (Observer): fcktard
riggstad (Observer): get aids hippy

(He must like this guy, he's going pretty easy on him)

untouchableme: r u talking 2 me

(Further indication he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer)

riggstad (Observer): no I'm talking down to you
riggstad (Observer): noob
riggstad (Observer): -EV player you are
riggstad (Observer): slit
ohhhlandon26: what do you expect in a five dollar
tournament, riggs

(don't get involved, man)

riggstad (Observer): not the point
riggstad (Observer): at all
ohhhlandon26: you call him a noob, this is where noobs play
ohhhlandon26: five dollar tourny
riggstad (Observer): all this time and finally decides to dust
off with QJ
ohhhlandon26: if you want more respect for your plays, move
up

(must be Phil Gordon)

JesusMastaJiz: i'm not a noob
JesusMastaJiz: how dare you

(Who invited this joker to the party? Having watched this clown stumble his way to a chipstack, I can remain silent no longer)

snakster (Observer): no...you just suck
JesusMastaJiz: im still in
JesusMastaJiz: u suck
snakster (Observer): and Jamie Gold won, what's your point?
JesusMastaJiz: he's a miilionare now
snakster (Observer): and you're not. check and mate

(I suspect he's STILL licking his wounds from THAT encounter)

ohhhlandon26: don't get upset with the moves people make in
a five dollar tourney, you have to expect it
JesusMastaJiz: you see, noob's can win it big

(And this, of course, is what makes these game so profitable in the long run. So I feel I must appropriately offer....)

snakster (Observer): thank god

And there we have it. More entertaining than ANYTHING on TV. Keep fighting the good fight Riggstad.